The Triple Tourist Whammy

01Dec11

Big Day in the Not-So-Big City

Simon and I left Savannakhet in a hurry, wondering why we’d stopped there for a night in the first place. Aside from a sweet little dinosaur museum with a very enthusiastic curator, there was absolutely nothing to do in the overpriced city. We took a night bus to the capital, Vientiane, in the hopes to make up for lost time.

There is not much to say about Vientiane. Like Savannakhet, there is not much to do and the city seems dispersed and almost empty. It was also extremely expensive, as I’ve found the main tourist trail in Laos seems to be. Instead of running away from the price tags I embraced them. My time in Vientiane can be described as one big splurge.

First I had a delicious breakfast and lunch that cost about three times the price of Simon’s. Later, I finally bought my plane ticket to Australia, using my visa card for the first time in who knows how long! After that oh-so-stressful purchase, I treated myself to a traditional Lao style massage. I think it was a lot like a traditional Thai massage. The little woman massaging me used her feet as much as her hands. At one point she was standing on the backs of my knees with my calves and feet bent up and wrapped around her for support as she walked her hands over my back. It was like an acrobatic massage! That evening Simon joined in on the splurge and we had an amazing pizza dinner and cake.

Aside from spending money, our time in Vientiane revolved around Simon getting his Thai visa. We visited a temple called Wat Si Saket, which houses over two thousand Buddha statues of various sizes, and the golden stupa of Pha That Luang, which serves as the symbol of Laos.

Tubing Sober?!

After only one night in Vientiane, which was more than enough, Simon and I braced ourselves for Vang Vieng, a small town a few hours north, famous for drunken tubing down the Song River. Before we found ourselves confronted with the ugly side of tourism, we were lucky to find an amazing guesthouse that opened only ten days earlier! It was the cleanest room I’d seen since leaving Canada. Simon had a hell of a time getting me to leave the room to check out the town.

In my opinion Vang Vieng is the perfect example of tourism gone horribly, horribly wrong. When we arrived, around 6pm, we saw numerous shoeless, shirtless tourists that were so drunk and or high they could barely open their eyes. Some of them were making their way to the numerous restaurants playing either Friends or Family Guy on repeat. Now I like Family Guy very much, but when in a beautiful small town surrounded by karst scenery and fields, the last thing I want to hear is the soundtrack to Family Guy. As for Friends, I never what to watch that crap!

And now for the tubing. Although outrageously expensive, Simon and I decided to give it a go just to see what it was. As soon as I got in the tuk tuk I regretted it. I could see that Simon and I were not among like-minded tourists. Before you can even start tubing you are given a free shot of whiskey. Simon and I had about $2.50 between us, so drinking the day away obviously wasn’t going to happen.

Once we were in our tubes I got really annoyed. There were loads of bars crammed together along the river playing the worst music incredibly loud. To make matters worse each bar ‘fishes’ for you to come and spend money at their place. This means that they chuck a filled water bottle tied to string into the water, usually aiming at your head. They do this even if you say no. One British guy would not stop fishing for me. It ended with me giving him the finger and him telling me to fuck off.

Luckily, things improved quickly. We got a little further down river and stopped at a bar with slides and a trapeze swing that you could jump off of into the river. We didn’t have to spend money and we could still have fun. Perfect! As soon as I jumped off that swing into the river I felt way better!

The rest of our tubing wasn’t very eventful. We hung out in hammocks at one of the last bars and eventually floated back to Vang Vieng. Overall I’d say if you want to get trashed with a bunch of obnoxious tourists then this is the activity for you. Personally I think it was overpriced and overhyped.

Fortunately, tubing isn’t the only thing to do around Vang Vieng. Simon and I spent the morning before tubing in the countryside walking around and admiring the karst scenery. It was a bit like Yuangshou, China and a bit like Halong Bay, Vietnam but different. The karsts were more closely joined together and appeared more like a mountain range. There are many caves in the area, but you have to pay money to visit them. Simon and I had a good time just wandering and getting lost in the fields for free!

Money, Money, Money

From Vang Vieng we headed to the third and final major tourist destination in Laos, the ancient capital city of Luang Prabang. The bus ride there was an attraction in itself with the most beautiful scenery I have seen since leaving Mongolia. Unlike the other Laotian cities, Luang Prabang was quite lovely with many little streets and a huge night market. It is also dotted with many temples and even more monks living in them. The most popular activity here is to wake up at sunrise and watch the line of monks collect food (usually a bit of rice) from fellow Buddhists. Simon and I had caught this ceremony when we arrived at sunrise in Vientiane. It was very lovely there but slightly destroyed in Luang Prabang with many tourists photographing the monks with a flash and giving offerings as a novelty. There were more tourists than locals participating!

Money seemed to be on everyone’s mind in Luang Prabang. As soon as we arrived, a fellow tourist who’d been to the city a number of times told us it was impossible to find a room for less than fifty thousand kip. We found one for forty thousand almost immediately. Woots!

There are a lot of things to see and do in Luang Prabang but big surprise, you’ll be charged for each and every one of them. Want to see the Royal Palace Museum? You’ll have to sneak in like Simon and I did if you don’t want to pay. How about some temples? Many of them charge an entrance fee. We did pay to see one temple, called Wat Xieng Thong, which was very beautiful with many mirrored mosaics of peasant life. Want to climb the central mountain for a nice view of the city? Sorry, that will cost you the same price as entering a temple! Want to leave the city and check out the village on the other side of the river? Guess what? You’ll have to pay nearly a dollar to cross the rickety bamboo bridge! Ha! Want to see some of the beautiful countryside around Luang Prabang including the Kuang Si waterfall? Well that will cost you for the tuk tuk ride there as well as an entrance fee for the falls. That being said, Kuang Si was very nice, with a bear sanctuary, though packed with tourists.

Lucky for Simon and I, if you ignore the guidebooks and just walk around you can find a lot of free temples and good viewpoints around the city. One temple was tiny but had amazing paintings inside. The view we found of the Mekong at sunset was better than what I think we’d have seen at the top of the hill.

Overall I enjoyed the major tourist sights of Laos but I don’t think any of them are exceptional. I much preferred the south, especially the small village of Ban Papho. With only nine days until my flight to Australia, Simon and I are headed north for a short loop before I head back down to Vientiane. I hope we can get off the tourist trail a little bit one more time and get away from the money and the booze!

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